Sometimes I wonder if the things I am doing are helping my children grow to be godly and morally courageous adults. Each day presents more opportunities to trust God, and I’m thankful for the foundation from my parents that I continue to build upon in my own life.
I’ll never forget as a child having to walk back to our neighborhood swimming pool and apologizing to a lifeguard that I had just previously lied to. My mom heard my story, and wasn’t buying it. She (rightly) demanded that I not let my integrity get washed away by not facing difficult situations and letting a poor choice remain unresolved. No, she really didn’t give me any choice, and insisted that I confess my lie to this person and to do it immediately. To this day I still can remember the grey cinderblock wall that I had to walk by, and then turning the corner to face my mistake full on. It was not easy, and I even shed a few tears, but I nevertheless made right the wrong that was committed.
This simple action (and feeling) is still fresh in my memory, and it has been one of many small situations that have aided me in my life as an adult. My mom laid a foundation of facing difficulty even if it hurt, because that was the right thing to do.
Well, now I’m a parent to three daughters, and when difficulty presents itself to my children I find myself in the same position that my mom found herself in as she insisted that I face difficulty and not run. Just this week I was able to insist that my oldest daughter face a difficult situation that at the time seemed insurmountable. We were in Branson, MO this week attending one of the local entertainment shows, and they needed a volunteer to go out into the arena. Our oldest was asked if she wanted to be the volunteer, and she whole heartedly agreed. However, the initial excitement began to wear off as we walked down the stairs to make our way to the gate that leads into the arena. As we waited for instructions I heard the words I was hoping I wouldn’t hear, “Daddy, I don’t want to go out there!” Then came the tears and the adamant refusal to do what was previously committed to. Well, I initially began to bargain, “What do you want, baby? I’ll give it to you if you go out there!” That didn’t work, and so I resorted to being firm. “You will go out there, you committed to this, and you will thank me after.” Her response, “No, No, No!” My response, “Yes, trust me, you will love this!” Her response, “NO, I am going to throw up!” Me: “No you’re not…you’re just fine, and you will love this!” I started to feel like if insisting that she make good on her commitment was too much. However, I still insisted that she make good on her word. All the while we were deliberating, we were also missing all the instructions, and then…we were ushered to the gate, and it swung open. It was a competition to see who would coax some chickens across a line that was at the other end of the arena.
All of a sudden the anxiety and fear turned into joy and excitement. In the end, my daughter received a medal, a book, and had a blast chasing chickens. As of today, if you were to ask her what was her favorite part of the show, she would more than likely say, “…getting the medal in the arena after chasing chickens.”
Have you ever felt reluctant to face something difficult that you knew needed to be faced? While there are certainly times when we can force ourselves when we shouldn’t; however, what about when you know you’re just running from a difficulty? What about when you gave your word for something, or you did something you knew you shouldn’t, or you are gripped by a fear that you can’t seem to overcome? Do you find yourself running or leaning in? The reality is, at some level we all have fears and anxiety that left unattended can lead to bitter frustration. At some level, however, we all wished we would face those fears. And guess what, it’s never too late to start!
What if today you began to face your fears? What if you took one small step toward confessing a sin you committed against someone? What if you faced a difficult situation with courage instead of walking away from it in fear? What if you asked for forgiveness, sought the counsel of wiser men and women, and moved toward chaos with grace and truth instead of away in fear? What would your marriage look like? What would your relationships look like? What would your parenting look like? How might your work place be different? This isn’t a license for recklessness, but rather for engaging when you would otherwise run.
What if we moved in to difficult times with the power, love, and sound mind given by God to those who love Him?
What if?
“For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and sound judgment.”
2 Timothy 1:7
— November 18, 2016